If you're a die-hard fan of budgeting, but your partner doesn't believe budgeting will make any difference, here's how you can convince them otherwise.
Why is budgeting as a couple important?
Talking about money in a relationship is important for a number of reasons, including ensuring that each partner is at ease with the other's financial decisions and that they have the same perspective on the topic of money.
Budgeting allows both partners to understand the financial goals of the other — as well as the things that are important to them. Do they want to save money for vacations? A new house? A new car? Or would they rather set money aside for weekly outings? These are things you need to discuss if you don’t want your relationship to be in jeopardy.
How to start budgeting with your partner
Convincing a partner who doesn’t really pay attention to their finances to start budgeting with you can be pretty difficult. But not impossible! Here is a step-by-step guide on how to do just that.
Start with empathy
No one is ever in agreement as to what they should do with their money. That’s why, when your partner talks to you about their wants and needs, you should show compassion and try to find some middle ground. Yelling at them and trying to get them to change their values for you will serve no other purpose than getting them to resent you down the line. You have to listen to each other, figure out what matter most to both of you, and work towards those common goals.
Come clean about your spending
Coming clean about your spending is important for any relationship. After all, your partner has to be aware of what their getting into and how your different spending styles might clash. Better to know sooner than later, right? Once you come clean about your spending, you’ll both be able to set a clear path towards your financial goals.
Being on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances fosters empathy and a sense of togetherness in your relationship. In order to prevent misunderstandings or having unreasonable expectations, each partner should have a broad awareness of their partner's income and expenses.
This doesn’t mean that every single little purchase should be discussed. However, if you’re planning on building a life together, you should talk to your partner before dishing out a ton of money on something that goes against the growth of your financial futures. As for what amount is a good amount to start opening up a discussion? That’s entirely up to the state of your finances — and something you should figure out together.
Set your priorities and your goals
After opening up about your spending, you should try to figure out what each of your goals are. Maybe your money personalities are different, and your partner has different goals than you do. That’s okay. Each of you should set your priorities and share them with your partner. You might find that you have goals in common!
However, if you find that your goals are totally different, try to figure out how you can both compromise. For example, if your partner prefers to live in the moment and spends all of their money without setting any on the side, see if you could compromise and instead treat yourselves once or twice per week while still putting some of that money into a savings account.
Start your budget
Once you’ve figured out what your priorities and your financial goals are, you can start creating your joint budget. In order to create the most comprehensive budget, you must first calculate all of your income combined. This can include all sources of income, like your daytime job, any part-time job, a side-hustle, or government benefits.
Then, once you’ve calculated your combined income, you should tally up all of your expenses. These include fixed expenses like:
- Rent/Mortgage
- Utility bills
- Car payments
- Phone plans
Variable expenses like:
- Groceries
- Personal/Home care products
- Gas
- Entertainment
- Clothing
And periodic expenses like:
- Holiday gifts
- Birthday gifts
- Car repairs
- Annual subscriptions
Then, deduct all of your monthly expenses from your monthly income, and figure out what you’re going to do with the rest of it. Depending on the goals you’ve discussed with your partner, you can split it between different accounts, like a savings account, an account dedicated to vacations, and/or an account dedicated to unexpected expenses.
Figure out how you’re going to split costs
After determining how much money you have to use towards expenses, you must then figure out how you’re going to split costs with your partner. Some decide to split everything 50-50, no matter what the difference in salary is. However, this isn’t really feasible or fair if your partner makes significantly less than you do. If there’s a big difference in salary, consider splitting costs in proportion to your salary.
However you choose to split costs, what matters is that you keep following your budget. Allevia’s online budget tool can help. Simply input all of your income, costs, and debts, and detail your financial goals, then keep following your budget. Allevia will even go so far as to analyze your finances to come up with different solutions to your personal situation. The best part? It’s completely free to use!
